“Kids are resilient” is often used to comfort. Yet resilience doesn’t mean unaffected, independent, or “fine.” Children need supportive relationships to heal, grow, and thrive.

If resilience is the foundation of mental health, adults are the ones who help lay that foundation. Starting at birth.

“You have a big job to do. You already carry the wisdom. Let’s help you remember it.”

The Roots of Resilience: Awareness and Relationship

When adults slow down to notice a child’s feelings and needs, they communicate:

• “You matter.”

Mindfulness and connection are the soil where resilience takes root.

Why the Myth Hurts

Dismissing signs of distress sends the wrong message:

• “I should handle this alone.”
• “Don’t bother the adults.”
• “My pain doesn’t count.”

When behaviors, withdrawal, or sleep changes are brushed off as “kids bounce back,” children lose opportunities to feel supported.

Children Learn Resilience Through Us

Resilience grows through:

• Co-regulation in moments of overwhelm
• Encouragement during new challenges
• Repair after conflict
• Presence through loss and change

Children become braver because someone stays close.

A Reflection for Adults

Pause. Breathe. Consider…

Who carried you when life felt too big?
Whose love made you feel safe enough to try again?

You survived in relationship too.

Resilience is learned.
Resilience is shared.
Resilience is love in motion.

Our Collective Responsibility

We are facing a children’s mental health crisis.
The solution is not more toughness demanded from the youngest among us.

The solution is us.
Showing up. Paying attention. Taking children seriously.

Kids are resilient…and they grow that way when we help them.

Reflection Prompt:
What belief about resilience are you ready to rethink so you can show up more fully for the children you care about?