In the world of Infant and Early Childhood practice, the most powerful tool we carry is not a curriculum, assessment, or intervention strategy—it is our use of self. The way we show up—our presence, values, voice, and capacity for reflection—shapes not only the relationships we build with children and families, but also how we navigate and challenge the larger systems around us.

Too often, professionals in this field find themselves at the crossroads of care and policy, working within structures that may perpetuate inequity, racism, or exclusion. Oppressive policies can show up in subtle and overt ways: eligibility rules that deny services to families who need them, disciplinary policies that disproportionately impact children of color, or funding systems that value “fixing deficits” over honoring strengths. In these moments, it can feel overwhelming to face the weight of systems much larger than ourselves. Yet, it is precisely in these spaces where the use of self becomes both a grounding practice and a vehicle for change.

The Use of Self as a Compass

At its core, the use of self is about bringing awareness to who we are and how we engage with others. It asks us to notice the values, assumptions, and emotions we carry into our work. Do we listen with curiosity or judgment? Do we allow space for the family’s expertise to lead? Do we recognize the historical and cultural contexts that shape a parent’s response to early intervention or mental health support?

By pausing to reflect on these questions, we bring intentionality into our practice. This reflection not only strengthens our relationships with children and families—it also equips us to see the broader patterns of inequity. When we notice, for example, that certain voices are consistently silenced in team meetings, or that resources are distributed inequitably across communities, we can move from silent witness to advocate.

Reflective Supervision as a Space for Courage

Reflective supervision plays a vital role in cultivating this awareness. It is a space where professionals can bring their full selves—their hopes, frustrations, uncertainties, and values—into conversation. Within the safety of reflective supervision, we can wrestle with difficult truths: How do I respond when I see a policy harming a family? How do I balance my role within the system with my commitment to equity? How do I care for myself so I can keep showing up for others?

These conversations can be uncomfortable, but they are also transformative. They help us hold complexity rather than rush to quick fixes. They remind us that our professional use of self is not static—it evolves as we learn, grow, and deepen our awareness.

Self-Compassion as Resistance

Working in systems that perpetuate oppression can lead to burnout, despair, and cynicism. Self-compassion is not a luxury here; it is an act of resistance. When we offer ourselves the same gentleness, we encourage families to give their children, we create room to breathe, to rest, and to continue the long journey of change.

Self-compassion means acknowledging when the work feels heavy, rather than pushing through with silent suffering. It means celebrating small wins—like a parent feeling seen in a meeting or a colleague beginning to question a long-standing policy. It means remembering that we do not have to dismantle systems alone; we are part of a collective, and our role is to hold the light we can carry.

Values as a Guiding Light

Every professional brings values to this work: respect, dignity, equity, compassion, and justice. These values are not abstract—they are daily practices. They show up in the way we greet a child, in the questions we ask a caregiver, and in the stance we take in team or policy discussions. By consistently aligning our actions with our values, even in small ways, we chip away at systems that prioritize efficiency over humanity.

In many ways, our values and self-compassion act as lanterns, lighting the path through dark and complex systems. They remind us why we entered this field: to nurture, to support, to create spaces where children and families can thrive.

Closing Reflection

The use of self in Infant and Early Childhood practice is not just about who we are in relationship with families—it is also about who we are within systems. By engaging in reflective supervision, leaning into our values, and practicing self-compassion, we cultivate the strength and clarity needed to push back against oppressive policies and to imagine new possibilities.

For each of us, the invitation is this: How might I use myself today—not only to nurture children and families, but also to shine a light on the systemic changes needed for them to flourish?

Written from my heart as a therapist and reflective supervisor who believes every child deserves the support to grow emotionally strong and resilient.

— Charisse Dawkins, LCSW